Day 7

Well, really it is day 8, but, I didn't have time to post last night before my meeting.
I walked a little over a mile today, since I didn't get out there until almost time for my meeting, which I couldn't be late for either. It feels so good to walk!! So why is it so difficult for me to get started each day? I just don't get it. Today, is supposed to be my "cheat" day, but, I think I am going to walk after all, ( just trying to get the 21 day thing into a habit I guess), and this last week was difficult with losing Miracle and Mocha... I am just not inspired like I usually am the first week of my "lifestyle change". Yes, I have done this before, I just have never set up an internet blog about it before. I have tried everything, WW, TOPS, hypnosis, sex, no sex, all the fad diets of the 70's and 80's. Am contemplating a weight-loss surgery, but, I know that isn't going to cure the problem I have. I know I am an emotional eater, and I need to figure out how to help myself. I am not good at journaling, so trying to write down everything I eat doesn't work for me. Many time I have put something into my mouth without thinking about it and then I forget to write it down.
I also know that exercise is the KEY!!!!!!! No special secrets, no magic pills, just stubborn tenacity, and plain hard work, now, I am not afraid of hard work, I just am afraid of failing again. I can't fail!!! My whole life ( literally) is on the line!
I HAVE to do this!

Day 6

Today I got out after the rain and walked a mile in the darkness. Matt thought walking in the dark was cool. We locked Bailey up prior to walking since it is too hard to see a tiny black Dachschund in the dark. I am so frustrated with work that this walking is a great stress reliever, and I know it is helping my health. Tomorrow, I will try to walk a longer distance in interval walking, Sit ups and pushups are also on the list to begin this week!
Found someone to hopefully mentor under this spring with honey bees!!!! I have been studying this so long and have been trying to find someone to learn under since last summer!
I am going to have 2 hives of my own at the same time though, so I can learn and do also!
Can't wait!
Tomorrow is the poultry swap meet, I am hoping to get a couple of cochins for Matthew to love.
I still miss Mocha, and Miracle, but, the pain isn't as bad as it was on Monday.

Day 6

Day 5

Got out and walked almost 2 miles today. Didn't do the eating thing so well though, I had ice cream again for supper, I have no will power!! I just love the stuff! I got up this morning to find Shom out and trying to make his way back into the pasture, and when I put him in his correct pasture, I looked and there were only 3 horses in that pasture, ( there should be 5) I started calling for Handsome since he was the one missing, and I happened to look over at the mare's pasture and there was this horse that didn't belong there looking at me with his ears up as if to say" here I am! " Sure enough, somehow Handsome had somehow found his way over to the mare pasture to have a little fun there! How do they do it!?? One more day and the weekend arrives, I am planning on keeping on track on Saturday, and having Sunday as my cheat day and no exercise day, but, we will see how it goes...

.Day 4

Day 4 with my life changes, I didn't walk or post yesterday, I was on call, and didn't feel like getting inventive with the walking ( ie; walking indoors). I did walk today though and obviously I am posting so, I am still on track. It takes 21 days for something to become a habit, so here I am, trying to make this a habit.
I love walking once I get out there and start doing it. I have a walking playlist on my iPod that includes Queen, The Weathergirls, Village People 10cc, The De Franco family, and a couple others from the 70's. I sat tonight while filling up the water tanks ( with the hose from the house since my hydrant is frozen) belting out " It's Raining Men" with the best of them!! I don't think the horses appreciated it, and I certainly hope my neighbors weren't listening!
I got Miracles ashes back today, the let me know Mocha's ashes would be back next week.
Matthew is still so sad, I am also, I guess I just let the tears run out of me Monday and last night, I don't cry as much now for our lost family members. I know we will see them again at the Rainbow Bridge.

Day 2

Today my heart is breaking, God decided that my old cat Mocha should come to live with him. I wasn't prepared for this, only 10 days after losing Miracle. I have so many fond memories of them both, I got to say good bye to Miracle, but, Mocha I didn't. I am having a difficult time coping with this tremendous loss. I know she was old, they both were over 14, but, I guess I wasn't thinking that she would be gone so soon from my life.
Getting into the groove of exercising today was a monumental task. I made myself get up and go outside to walk, it is so hard today to think of anything pleasant, and I know what a perfect day it was outside, I just wanted to huddle in my bed and cry ( which I did until I fell asleep for a couple of hours).
I am trying though to change my life, this online blog is my accountability to myself and for anyone who might read this.
This is my life, time for change.
I am overweight, prediabetic, depressed and my joints have started to hurt, all these things add up to my taking this step toward changing my life.
I took my son with this evening, he rode his bike and I walked, we went about a mile and a half. The dogs handled this distance very well, little Bailey didn't need any rest breaks at all. Tomorrow I am on call, so I am going to have to get inventive in order to exercise.

Day 1 cont'd

found out that our mini Dachschund Bailey isn't up for a couple of mile brisk walk. Had to stop a couple of times so she could rest, those little feet have to take 4 steps to each one of mine.
After getting home and doing chores, I made supper, grilled chicken breast, salad with lettuce, carrots, celery, orange pepper and a little dressing. I also had a piece of Key Lime pie. Baby steps I guess, I have been attempting a life change for a long time, I just hope that by posting online, I have the commitment to continue.

Day 1

This being my first attempt at journaling my life, I hope I don't make to much of a mess of it.
First off, I LOVED the 80's!!! LOVED, LOVED, LOVED them! they were so good for my self esteem, I was popular, slimmer, prettier, more naive... and the music was terrific!
Now, present day, I am a shadow of my former self. I lack self confidence, I have gained more than 100 lbs, definitely don't feel pretty, and have discovered in incredible cynicism, I trust no one.
Now, this stops yesterday ( literally). I took my 4 yr old colt out for a walk down the trail, ( he is a handful). walked a mile. Then, it felt so good I took his pop out for a mile long walk also. This blog is a chronicle of my days exercising and the thoughts I have while doing so.
Today, the weather is in the 50's , it is Sunday, and I have done nothing but, chores this morning outside. I am out to walk now. Later.