Mother Nature

What is it about the Great Outdoors and me not being able to keep my clothes on??? It isn't that I have the body of Britney Spears ( not even at her worst...), hell, I don't even have the body of Shelly Winters!!!! But, somehow, I end up with my clothing taking flight many times when I am outside.
My last skirmish with Mother Nature began at my bee hives ( can you see this coming??). I haven't been out and checked my hives for a couple of weeks, ( still healing from the last sting), but, today, come hell or high water I needed to get out there and put another 10 frame of deep hives for the bees on. All was going well, my son had the smoker making its beautiful thick smoke, ( he is very proud of his ability to smoke... he's 11). I had my 2 pairs of sweatpants on ( bees can't sting through 2 pairs of pants, don't ya know...), and of course my bee sting proof jacket and veil, I look incredibly attractive in this getup, let me tell you! We get to the first hive, hearing lots of buzzing, I figure all is going well within the hive. I open the hive, and low and behold, all IS well! I am carefully checking each frame to determine if the queen bee is laying ( or getting laid, they only mate once in their lifetime, I believe). and has plenty of eggs growing into busy little bees. I am in luck, although, there are plenty of dead bees on the floor of the hive, the live bees are making up for the dead ones I figure. Then, I feel it...
There is a bee crawling up my leg!!! Inside my pants!!!!! I carefully pull up my pant leg to try to release the dirty little bugger prior to it stinging me, but, I can't find it. So, I pull my pant leg down and continue on with my job. Suddenly, OUCH!!!! Damn bee was still in there right around the crease in my knee ( yup the first crease, not the second crease...) she got me. It hurts, and I am grabbing at my leg through my 2 pairs of sweatpants ( bees can't sting through 2 pairs of sweatpants ya know...), trying to pull the stinger out without actually seeing said stinger, this method doesn't work real well, as a side note.
The feels like it is still in there injecting venom into my leg by the gallon it seems. So, I did what any sane person would do in an effort to survive that bee sting.
I dropped my pants, ( luckily, I wasn't commando, isn't that a NICE mental picture...), and jumped around trying to see the back of my leg. Did I mention that today of all days, I have this crick in my neck? Doesn't allow me to move my neck much... So I am hopping and tripping, my bees are flying, my dogs are barking madly, and my wonderful son says, " Did you get stung?" I have to forgive him, he is 11, and a male ( that oblivious thing must begin at birth, or soon after...).
I didn't say what I really wanted to say, mostly because I needed him to find that stinger for me, so I could get rid of the stinging agony. But, I thought it!!!
Now, at the beginning of this beekeeping adventure, I considered parking my hives close to my house, so I could check on the bees more often. Right along the Luce Line, as a matter of fact, which of course, is right by one of the main highways coming out of the Cities, and continuing to SD.
It must have been serendipitous for me to change my mind and put them on the south end of the mares' pasture, because instead of God and everybody seeing my white prison pallor body jumping around without any pants, only my neighbors got that show... wonder if they will ever be able to speak to me with a straight face again?